Southern Boy in the PNW

What Do You Think? 

I remember this like it was yesterday...It was Wednesday, August 16, 2017. My wife and I were visiting Seattle, Washington - I had to travel for work and she tagged along. We were sitting on the pier having lunch at Fisherman's Restaurant & Bar, enjoying the waterfront view of the Puget Sound. Lauren ordered blackened shrimp tacos, and I had the pleasure of consuming a delectable salmon BLT sandwich. I kid you not, the freshness of the shrimp and salmon made me believe that they were retrieved from the Pacific Ocean waters that morning! I remember hearing the busyness of the downtown Seattle streets, listening to the waves of the Puget Sound move along the shoreline of the city; the sound of summer time filled the air, and a very distinct crunching sound that came from me smacking on the bacon that fell from my salmon BLT sandwich only added to the good vibe that I was basking in. I vividly remember sitting there and thinking to myself, "This isn't Texas..." I really don't have a full understanding as to why I compared that moment to my home in Texas. All I can say is that it was one of the most compelling thoughts that I've ever had. In a very impulsive fashion, I looked at my wife and said, "What do you think about us living in a place like this?" Wednesday, August 16, 2017 is the day that I like to call the conception.

Something was conceived that day...A dream, an expanded vision, a desire to thrive, a desire for more. I don't have time to get into the details of what more means for me, but all I can say is that I had an assurance that I can't explain. An assurance that Destiny and Purpose got together and decided to send More to Fisherman's Restaurant & Bar, only for More to tap me on my shoulder, and for me to make a decision that would change the trajectory of my life.

"Now the Lord had said to Abram: "Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you." - Genesis 12:1 (NKJV)

 It's been over a year now, and my family and I have packed up and moved to the state of Washington. We've gone to Fisherman's Restaurant & Bar again, we've visited the Seattle waterfront several times, and what was once uncommon to us was no longer uncommon. At this point, I've comprehended the notion of why we had to leave Dallas, Texas; we were called out of our norm, and our comfort zone - because it was time for God to do a new thing. What is God's reasoning for choosing this method? I have no idea. Although I've struggled and wrestled with certain things along this journey of new beginnings, I know that I know THAT I KNOW [preaching tone] that God led us here to Washington for a particular reason. I left my country (my home, my natural habitat, my place of comfort), I left my family (my parents, my widowed grandmothers, the people that I love, the people that supported me, the people that helped me grow), and I left my father's house (the place that birthed my passion for ministry, my place of substance, the place where I literally stood by my father's side and did what I was created to do). I packed up my family, I followed a voice, and we left simply because God said "Get out..." I know, it sounds crazy. The truth is, it is crazy! I liken my experience to Abram's experience, because following God's voice can cause you to end up in foreign places. For this ole' southern boy, the Pacific Northwest is a very foreign place...

A Foreign Land

Please keep in mind that what I'm about to share is only my perspective, and it's based on my experience and observations. My intent is not to imply anything as if it were an absolute...When I refer to the Pacific Northwest [PNW] as "foreign", I'm referring to how it is very alien in character to me. Don't get me wrong, I can give you many reasons why I love the Evergreen State, and I can honestly say that I haven't gotten home sick; I miss Texas, but I'm loving this new season of life in the state of Washington. I don't see myself living in any other state, other than Washington or Texas. Washington has been good to me! But there are things about the land that God has brought me to that are very alien to a southerner. What I'm about to say is very cliché, but it's my truth: You can take the boy out of the south, but you can't take the south out of the boy. Therefore, there are things about the PNW that are discordant with my southern presuppositions. For the sake of self-accountability, I'm learning to be more gracious and adapt to my new habitat - along with asking God for guidance so that I can be the catalyst for change that He's called me to be; but it's not easy.

"If you're called to be a catalyst for change, expect to experience things that are sent to change you." 

 One of the first things that I noticed is obvious to everyone - there is a low percentage of African Americans in the state of Washington. I've learned to be more understanding when it comes to this, because I've considered where Washington is located geographically. Now on the flip-side, I can only assume that the low percentage of African Americans may have contributed to Caucasians not being in tune with African Americans. Ok...I'm trying to be as professional, technical, and socially sensitive as possible; but from here on out, I'm just going to say "black people" and "white people" if that's ok. Alright, here we go! My wife and I have gotten the "eye" from white people. We've been in certain settings and felt the uncomfortable tension of the racial divide. There have been many times when I was having a linguistic exchange with someone, and due to my "southern accent" I had to repeat myself several times. During those conversations, I know that my "southern accent" wasn't causing the communication barrier. The problem was that my ability to effectively communicate properly, and grammatically correct, was subtly being challenged. You may ask, "How did you know that?!" I knew because I could feel it in my spirit, and a persons facial expression and body language speaks volumes. As human beings (not just black people), I believe that we can feel the spirit of rejection when it's being projected by another human being. Why? Because God created us to be relational people. Therefore, when a person walks in the spirit of community, anything that opposes that will be noticed.

From a cultural perspective, the PNW and the south are on two ends of the spectrum. Although, there have been moments when I've seen the two ends meet. I'm always surprised when this happens, but it's also a sigh of relief when it does. One of my biggest conundrums has been the lack of hospitality, even down to the most basic level. Dude, if we cross paths and we happen to make eye contact, I'm going to acknowledge your human existence by smiling, nodding my head, or by saying "How ya doing..." Bro, the lest you can do is respond! But don't give me a confused, nervous, or repulsive look and remain silent. Where I'm from, that's considered as disrespect! Ladies, if you and I are walking towards a passageway, just know that it's natural for me to let you pass by first; or if a door is involved, I'm going to be a gentleman and open the door for you. There have been far too many times when I've been in this situation and the woman seemed to be in disbelief about my chivalry. Back where I'm from, women would strut through the door like you owed it to them [I'm joking, but I'm not joking]. I must say that I do miss the charisma, and warmth that comes with the social interaction of my fellow southerners. I thrive off building relationships and interacting with people, but the gloominess of some of the social interaction in the PNW gets under my skin. Once again, I'm learning to be more gracious...

As I Close and Take My Seat

There are other things that I could address, like how I'm constantly looking for ways to work around the passive aggression of some PNW'ers - doing my best to refrain from exerting my southern aggression. How I still struggle with the condescending attitudes that I encounter; attitudes that derive from a lack of economic struggle, or the privilege that many were blessed to have. Or how I just don't understand how many people just don't understand what they really need to understand (I know that I'm being too critical with this one). The truth is, whatever impact or level of influence that God allows me to have, it probably won't reach as many people as I would like it to - and I'm starting to learn that I should embrace this truth. On the other hand, being a southern boy in the PNW may be less about my level of influence, and more about what God plans to do in me and through me for His glory; and for my growth. 

- Dre